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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:17
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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:17
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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
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Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
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The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
It\'s wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
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Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
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It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
The truth is more important than the facts.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
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The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
The truth is more important than the facts.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
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Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
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Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
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In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
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A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
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What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
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The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
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You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
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Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
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Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
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I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
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The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 20:50
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